Narcissists Lack Empathy

Empathy, per Websters:

1: the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it
2: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this
Personal example:
A dear friend of mine was pregnant.  She knew the baby would require heart surgery after being born and was small for age.  She was monitored closely during pregnancy.  The baby, a little girl, was born with a very rare disorder, and had far more issues to contend with than the doctors were anticipating.  She passed away 3 days later.  My friend and her husband had two other children and everyone was distraught, as you and I can easily imagine.  They had a memorial service for their daughter, which was well attended as we all felt so heartbroken as well.
My ex did not attend the service, and I didn’t expect him to do so.  He still lived in our house at that time and I was hoping he would move, as I had told him my desire to be divorced well over a year prior.  I will never forget this day:   As I was in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher, he walks in and leans up against the counter.  “I don’t understand” he says.  “What?” I ask.  “What all the commotion is about… I mean, it’s not like the baby was ever born or anything.”    Now, I explained that yes the baby was born, and how that didn’t really matter because the life of the baby started long before.  He stares at me blankly.  “I still don’t get why everyone is so upset with it”, he says and walks away.
Narcissists lack empathy.  They really have no idea or understanding that what they do or the way that they act impacts or hurts others.  They have no idea how to relate to others.  When you think about it from this perspective – that, in many ways, they aren’t meaning to be mean or abusive… it helps to empathize with them, and to forgive them for their actions.

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