A Narcissist’s Match.com Profile

This was my ex’s match.com profile for a short while.  I am going to post it here without changing a thing, and tomorrow, I will post it again with interpretative comments.  Enjoy!

I’m an entrepreneur, which to some extent means I’m a gambler.  I take calculated risks for a living.  In the past this has been estimating the value of investments for banks.  Currently I run a growing business and love every minute of it.  I’m a passionate person (‘intuitive perceiver’ for you myers-briggs types) so I have to love what I’m doing with my career or it does adversely affect me.  As a side note to the entrepreneur,  I am sometimes very flush and sometimes broke.  If that kind of volatility will bother you, I’m probably not the right guy.  I’ve been completely broke before – good growth experience.  I realized that if that won’t break me, nothing will.

I’ve chosen to be the king of a very small country, running my business, than a prince in a much larger one (previous banks and consultancies I’ve worked for).  Perhaps it’s a control thing, but I’m far happier this way.  It is very rewarding to see the direct relationship between effort and luck and my results (and the harder I work, the luckier I tend to be).  I expect that this choice will allow me to balance my personal life and my time with my children (and new family) whereas before I had little control over my time.

I thought that the “what I’m looking for” question would be easy, but I’ve lived enough to see some flaws in my thinking.  So, let me offer an honest assessment of what I’m looking for or not looking for and please don’t take anything that follows to be offensive.

  1. I would like someone who speaks English as a first language.  If not, you must really have excellent command of the language.  If you haven’t seen Archer and laughed, you probably aren’t really fluent.
  2. I would like someone who values the role of housewife and raising a family.  I greatly value the role.  It doesn’t mean you won’t have a career or other pursuits, just that these roles are your priority.
  3. You didn’t vote for Obama.  Or if you did, you have renounced your affiliation.  In all seriousness, we’re just not going to get along if you’re an NPR listening liberal.  I’m to the right, and then some.
  4. You’re not a vegetarian.  See the pattern here?  I’m Irish/Italian Catholic NRA member conservative.  PETA means People Eat Tasty Animals.  Truthfully, if you turn down my Osso Bucco, it’s a deal breaker.
  5. You don’t have any alcohol or chemical dependencies.  Ask me about that relationship.  Good times.
  6. You would like to have more children.  It’s the best thing I’ve done with my life.
  7. You’re not a planner (more myers-briggs here). I’m a lousy planner.  Maybe it’s just Aspberger’s, but I’ve had to buy clothes all over North America and Europe because I forgot to pack something for a business trip.  And, it doesn’t bother me.  If flying to France with a guy who forgot to pack his underpants will set you off, keep moving.  It will happen again.  And, yes, they sell the same stuff over there too.  If you’re a planner but think you can rehabilitate me, let me tell you that I’ve crushed more than a few souls who have attempted this.  I do like to be organized, efficient and on time, but it doesn’t always happen.  I would like someone to organize me.

In the final analysis, good relationships share a common vision of their future.  They’re willing to take the same risks and discuss openly all the options.  I did not have this in my first marriage.  I hope that I can find someone with the same sense of humor I have who is willing to take on what life has to offer.

In the “for fun” category.. he writes “I enjoy being a good father of two. I like to show them how to do new things. We ride horses, my daughter is quite good. I tend to do outdoor activities like golf, sailing, skiing, shooting and fishing. I also enjoy a great dinner and a bottle of wine.”

In the “faith” category, he writes “I’m Catholic. I go every Sunday and take my children.  However, I’m also an accomplished sinner.  I think its very important to have a moral compass and give one to my children.”

5 Responses to “A Narcissist’s Match.com Profile”

  1. cyndi says:

    Sh*#, I have a lot of work to do, cuz if I came across this I would recognize some arrogance, but that’s about it!!!!!!

    I am recently divorced from a man diagnosed with Asperger’s, and whom I’ve only become completely sure has NPD since leaving!! I am struggling with the depressive episodes that this reality brings on…watching what’s going on with my three young children, and feeling like I’m stuck in a nightmare for the rest of my life for having to remain connected to him.

    I look forward to finding comfort in reading more on this site!!!

  2. Ana says:

    This could be my ex’s ad. It’s odd how similar these people seem to be.

  3. brandi says:

    pray he doesn’t give his “moral compass” to his children. on second thought pray they don’t receive and/or accept it because he WILL dump all his crap on them very freely. lol! good you see that profile for what it is.

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