Bullying via Text

I have to share the text exchange that I had with my ex this evening.  My daughter’s first communion is this weekend.  While I have a very strong faith – I’m not Catholic, and I think that the first communion show-down is a bit over-rated.  Frankly, as a side bar – I don’t understand it, because I just can’t seem to recall the bible saying “if you are over 8 years old... ‘take, eat, this is the body and blood of Christ’…”

Anyway, I am still committed to raising my children Catholic and using that as a basic framework to build a personal relationship with God.  The church we attend had a rehearsal for the first communion tonight, during a time that my ex has the kids (from 5-8pm).  I let my kids know (but not my ex) that I would see them at the rehearsal.  Why did I attend?  Because I needed to know how things would flow at the communion to be able to answer the questions my daughter might have – and I know my ex won’t communicate with me what the rehearsal covered.

As another aside – God is gracious!.  My daughter’s only opportunity for first communion at my ex’s church falls on this weekend, which is my weekend.  Which means – that she has first communion with me at my church. 🙂

Here’s the text exchange (names omitted), which was sent within minutes of picking up our kids and finding out I would be at the church:

Ex:  Im taking daughter to church for rehearsal.  You shouldnt be there. I’ll have them home for 8.

Me:  I’m her mom… why shouldn’t I be there?

Ex: Its my time with them.  Do you want to give me 2 hours with them on saturday since my family is in town for first communion?

Me: It’s her rehearsal, and I’m not missing it.

Ex: I’m considering it a custody violation.

Me: Consider it what you want, but it is written into our court order/psa that both parents should be able to participate in important events for our children.

Ex: So no time with kids on Saturday?

Me:  I have family in as well.  I sent you an email asking you about your family, but you hadn’t responded.  At this point, it’s two days before and you’re asking me to change plans – and bullying me about it too.

<END of exchange. He didn’t reply further>

So then what happened?  I attended rehearsal and he was happy and cordial as though the text exchange never occurred, and he never asked a word about the time on Saturday.  Really, really odd — as I am never sure whether it will be Mr. Hyde or Dr. Jekyll that will be there… but I can tell you that calling out his bullying seems to really help!

Oh – and the first thing my daughter asked after the rehearsal?  “Mom.. can you tell me in kid-words how to do first communion?  It seems really complicated.”


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