“But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them who curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you and persecute you.”

2 Responses to ““But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them who curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you and persecute you.””

  1. Grace says:


    After what happened today, I am reminded not only of how far I’ve come, but also how much this describes the mindset I hold.

    We had a meeting today with all of the parents in our oldest child’s grade. Big auditorium, slideshow projection detailing homework expectations and parent roles. I sat in the very front with my girlfriend, and waited to be introduced as this year’s auction chair for our annual gala. It’s a huge honor to be tapped for this, and as its our 9th year at the school, I’ve earned this honor.

    I wore my favorite maxi skirt and tight back t-shirt, a favorite outfit of mine and I knew I would feel confident in it. Right before I walked onstage my phone lit up with a text. I turned it off without looking, guessing (correctly) who it was from and that it was intended to rattle me.

    “One thing I always notice is your habit of finding an outfit you think you look good in and wearing it to death – I recall seeing you ‘smell’ clothes from your floor to see if they were clean. Looks like this hasn’t changed.”

    I laughed out loud when I finally read it (purposefully waiting until he was gone to even look). I met him when I was 21 and in college. I’m SURE I did the sniff test on a few clothing items early in our relationship. But for him to try and tear me town by mocking my appearance just shows how sad, twisted, and demented he is.

    I try to rephrase the things he says so I can understand what he’s really trying to say, and in this instance, it’s “I’m furious that you are confident and capable enough to take on this role. I’m angry that you have friends that love and support you, and when I see you laughing with them I feel insecure and afraid that you are laughing at me. You wore that same skirt to our parenting meeting last week…I remember because it’s beautiful on you. How dare you continue to move on with your life, be happy and strong, when I am still struggling.”

    Just a little example for the rest of us struggling to ignore their “noise”. As a note, we’ve been divorced for two years and I am remarried. It’s past time for him to move on.

    Oh, and I didn’t reply at all.

    • I’m so glad you listened to your intuition (and knew who would be texting you / not to look at it at that moment), as well as laughed once you did read it. It’s HORRIBLE of anyone to do that! It feels exactly like what a middle school age child would to do bully and dig at someone else – which I suppose is exactly the age of development most personality disordered people are stuck in. Actually, as I think about it, my daughter just told her father that he acts like her 14 year old cousin when she gets mad. Anyway – good for you – you should be so *&^% proud of yourself for OWNING YOUR OWN POWER and not letting him mess with that. Thank you for the inspiration!

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