The Narcissist’s New Girlfriend

A while ago, I wrote a post about having met my ex’s new girlfriend.  She was 28 (he’s 42), sweet as can be and my kid’s loved her.  She had many enduring, similar qualities as I did and I could see how easy she would be hooked into what he seemingly offered.  While I was frustrated that my kids were put into her care when he fought so hard for the time with them, I was glad after meeting her that it was someone so nice and so caring about their needs.

I think the term “immersion girlfriend” is fitting.  I think that they dated just under 3 months, but she was there every minute of every minute my kids were with their father during that time.  She seemingly moved in, with 3 cats, a turtle and a few other zoo animals at his house (which cracks me up, cause he hates animals).

Well… she’s gone.  About a month ago, she “poofed” away.  Within a week, the kids announced that they had dinner with Daddy’s last girlfriend again.   The 28 year old was there when I blew up at my ex for not returning phone calls when I was supposed to meet him at the airport, landing and driving away with immersion girlfriend.  My daughter said she also confided in the things that “Daddy does” to her and her brother (yelling, hitting, calling them asshole and f-you).   I wonder if it had anything to do with the end of their relationship.

Apparently, old girlfriend is going to turn into immersion girlfriend #3.  (there was one before that he swore he was going to marry… well, that is until she was pregnant with another man’s baby).  From what I hear, she shall be moving in soon.  It’s going to be interesting, I suppose.  From what I understand, she is very different than her predecessors.  She’s asian, small, and tells my children what to do a lot.  My daughter says she is “good for daddy” because she “helps him do what he needs to get done”.  Go figure…

I’m just so happy that it isn’t me :)  And that I can look at the situation objectively and as a psychological case study of a psychopath.

Immersion girlfriends… I salute you!


7 Responses to “The Narcissist’s New Girlfriend”

  1. StrongerMe says:

    I wrote a post called “The Winds of Change” that talked about my ex’s stages with relationships. The good, the bad, and the ugly. He disappears when he is working on a new one, and then when he re-emerges, it is with girl in tow and she NEVER leaves his side. My kids never get alone time with their dad. They are merely pawns in his portrayal of “one big happy family.”

    • Well said … it’s all about the image that’s portrayed. My kids are happier when he has someone with him b/c his temper is more likely to be held at bay. I guess I just keep hoping that mine will rebuild a new family with the new chick and let us be!

  2. Heather says:

    The only problem with immersion chicks is when they are as NPD or BPD as the ex. My ex-s “sister wife” is that way for sure. My attorney swears she’s actually worse than my ex is.

    I’m back to dating. It would be nice to read something about how not to attract future boyfriends who are NPD…Anyone else note this? I’m like an NPD magnet. Is there a shower gel I can use that washes this off?

  3. Sunshine says:

    It’s so very bittersweet for me as I accept my NPD Ex husbands new wife (aka co-worker) whom he married before the ink on our divorce was dry . I rejoice that there is now someone there to look after my child and manage the daily chaos that comes with the job. I’m hopeful that she will shield all the children involved(mines is the youngest). I remember that was once my job and I surrendered it as it was either him or me…thankfully I finally chose me! Ex NPD has since decided to move everyone and rent an apartment 5 minutes driving distance from my home. He does this despite the fact that no one in their home has any connections to my small suburban community (no work, family, friends, school) or otherwise and has added a 30min commute to their lives to where they all have roots and obligations. I know this was done only to agitate, hurt and throw the concept of a family unit that I fought so hard to hold on too for 10+yrs in my face. I’m not angry with her as I was once the one being used like a rag doll and thrown in every direction to satisfy his ego and selfish needs. I understand, she has no clue about who or what he is… Neither did I. She only knows the hardworking, professional-business man from work, her supervisor, the perfect man, a dedicated father and cheating husband who is now her husband… I just wish she had voice enough to not allow the move up the street from my child and I (I own… and can’t move). This was clearly done to make us all miserable and bring chaos. Wow, what a way to start a marriage… That just can’t be good! Me on the other hand – I’m doing my best to keep calm, stable and unmoved but what I feel inside…ho-hum – Pray for me!!!

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