Good Touch / Bad Touch Books for Children

Given that personality disordered parents (narcissistic, borderline, antisocial) / Axis II / Cluster B have very loose if not non-existent boundaries, it is easy to see how the co-parents of these types would be worried about whether the parent is sexually abusing in some manner.  I am quite certain that research exists that shows that “intimate partner” abusers are more likely to also abuse their own children.  However, I’m not going to take the time at this moment to find that particular research.

The best thing we can do to help protect our children who have to visit with disordered parents and who may be at risk for abuse or sexual abuse is to teach them about good touch/bad touch and to develop a strong sense of boundaries.  Frankly… this is a good thing for any child – regardless of their situation!

To borrow a quote from someone I spoke with recently – ‘focus on helping the children to understand boundaries, because the more they can recognize boundaries, the better they can recognize when these boundaries have been crossed.”  Awesomely said.

In my situation, I have used basically two books to initiate the conversations where I can teach my young children about appropriate ‘sexual’ behavior.  One is The Right Touch, and the other is “I Said No! A Kid-to-Kid Guide to Keeping Your Private Parts Private” .  Both are good for the age of my children; 5 and 8.   The latter was used because my daughter was inappropriately exploring body parts with another child, and the story speaks of a little boy who went to a sleepover and avoided another kid who wanted to explore.

There is another book that I really like that speaks about “Personal Power”.  There are stories on how to navigate other situations with children.   This book is “Stick Up for Yourself: Every Kid’s Guide to Personal Power & Positive Self-Esteem“.  I found it really easy to read through with my 8 year old, and that it will be relevant for older, pre-teen children as well.

Often used in describing boundaries in children is the concept of the “bubble” to describe personal space around a person, and to respect that personal space.  I also use a golden rule “If it’s not your’s, don’t touch it”.  Kids are so naturally curious and immediately reach out to touch anything – but they shouldn’t when it’s not their’s to touch.  So, I’m using this to build up the idea of resisting the urge to touch and consider whether it’s appropriate to do so first.

2 Responses to “Good Touch / Bad Touch Books for Children”

  1. heather says:

    Cool good resources…thanks

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