Prayers & CPS

Quick post … I’ve been quiet, I admit.  CPS became involved in our situation a couple Friday’s ago.  I shared with the assigned social worker the drawings that our daughter has been doing.  She immediately suspended visitation, within a few hours of when the weekend visitation would have begun.  My kids were so relieved… it was better than Christmas to see the looks on their faces.

Fast forward… social worker has spoken with my ex.  He says he never raises his voice, never physically disciplines “the children” and that he is unaware of redness on their private parts.  Social worker says that unless my daughter’s therapist says it will be traumatic to return to visitation right now, that visitation will need to resume this week.  I have no idea why, really.  Of course the ex would deny it all.

Now this means that the ex is well aware of our daughter sharing information with others about how mean he is and what is going on.  Then they have to return to him – and he is already threatening that he wants mommy put in jail.   Isn’t that going to scare them into silence?

Also, ex’s family is hiring an attorney to keep me from making allegations against them (our daughter has drawn a naked picture of her grandfather… reason unknown).  My ex and his entire nauseous family believe that I am making all the allegations and there is no founding.

CPS had asked why I didn’t report earlier.  Gee… here’s exactly why.  They listen to his story, believe him, and then the kids return to a now more dangerous place than previously.

I am praying for all children in these situations with abusive, neglectful parents, and for the judges, social workers, therapists and child protective workers who can make a difference in protecting these kids.

12 Responses to “Prayers & CPS”

  1. JenelleMarie says:

    Oh my. Sending so many prayers for you.

    And here is what i want to ask every single social worker and detective who works in child abuse units – “Because how many pedophiles, molesters, abusers and psychopaths actually admit to you that you they are molesting and/or abusing children?”

    These people who are ‘trained’ and given the responsibility of our community to protect the youth need to do a better job at believing the mouths of babes over the mouths of the adults who are being pointed as harmful.

    And that is all i can nicely say about the subject.

    • It’s hard to stay nice, isn’t it? I honestly don’t think that this social worker is doing anything maliciously – she recognizes that our family has been in tormoil for years and the anxiety that the kids are having over the visits with their father. She’s not yet sure about abuse and whether it exists in the legal definition (again… is it abusive? Yes. The legal definition needs to be changed). What I think is lacking is that ability to realize that there must be a personality disorder present, and that in cases of domestic abuse – chances are the abuser cannot subsequently make a good parent even as much as we wish they could.

      • JenelleMarie says:

        I understand. But even cases where clear abuse is happening (i mean obvious signs), the abuser is neither truthful or forthcoming. So the problem lies in the fact that no amount of training can turn these well meaning and over work social workers into lie detector tests, kwim??? Ive seen cases wear bruises and admittance to sexual abuse have been ignored because the adult lied 🙁 Society and training teaches them to believe the adult interviewed … this is a problem as children rarely manipulate especially at the age of our children.

        Not meaning to sound as if im putting down the workers, i believe the system and the education is flawed

        • It’s a lot for them or for any judge to figure out in usually short time frames. I have seen articles lately, though, where cps or others within the “system” have had severe consequences occur when they failed to act for the child. Unfortunately, sometimes the result on the child is death, but other times there have been reports where the child was eventually “saved” and the person who was ignoring it, covering it up or otherwise assessing incorrectly were punished accordingly. I think that more accountability and checks and balances would help – we really need to err on the side of caution for the kids’ sake.

  2. Grace says:

    Thanks for the update! Fingers crossed and prayers sent that the kids can get help.

  3. Stacey says:

    You and your kids are in my thoughts. I’m glad they at least got a short reprieve from their father. Maybe the therapist will say it will be too traumatic for them to go back.

  4. Ana says:

    I hope you get the resolution you and your children need. You would think drawing grandpa naked would set off some alarms. It shouldn’t be this hard to protect your children, but we all know it is.
    Good luck!

    • I was going through the log that I keep last night and jotting down when our son has returned with a red bottom in relation to the weekends he has been gone. I actually was quite disturbed to realize that there is more frequency and correlation with when they grandparents are present than I would care to see. I can’t even imagine it happening as the grandfather, in particular, is so much like a lump on a log — but I also do believe that my ex has abuse in his past as well (he remembers his childhood as cold, dark and hungry). So I suppose it is possible and I need to make sure I am open to hearing any truth from my children and that they can sense that it is safe to share.

  5. Leah says:

    I feel your pain and know exactly what you are experiencing. I will tell you that CPS has been called so many times (not by me, but the school, counselors, etc) and they aren’t worth the tax dollars alloted. My children have had bruises on them and they have told countless people where they come from; yet my ex still has shared custody.
    I pray for you and your children and just continue to encourage your children to be strong.

    • Wouldn’t it be great if we could all move to one of the thirty countries where physical discipline is illegal? Or that we can get that instituted here? ANY physical discipline.. not just that which leaves bruises. Violence begets violence – and peace begins at home. I am praying for your babes too!!

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