When the Going Gets Tough

I find that when I am stressed … really stressed and something is bothering me… I get quiet.  My normally extraverted personality turns inwards.  I still function, smile and “play happy” to others.  Often this helps me to “compartmentalize” the stress and to eventually actually feel happy.  Sometimes that doesn’t work, though, and underneath the happy exterior is a layer of “this sucks”.

The “law of attraction” philosophy actually says that if you are unhappy – to make sure to focus your thoughts on what you want to see in your life, and not the things you don’t.  The principle is that you get in your life what you focus on.  The only thing that I don’t understand about this philosophy is how people can work in helping professions (focused on negative situations) and not attract that into their lives.  The reason why I wonder about that is because I really want to help make a difference in this space of dealing with an abusive ex, and the children’s lives who are disrupted by it.  I worry when I focus on the crappy part of my situation that I am just attracting more of it into my life.  However, the reason I ‘focus’ on it is to share it with others so that it helps others to know they aren’t alone.  Or, I think about it to note where our environment only serves to perpetuate bad situations, and how I may be able to work to fight for a better system.

What had me start this post was to reflect on why I haven’t posted as much lately.  I find myself unable to focus as easily and getting more stressed to share what is going on…. so I get quiet.  I don’t even share with family or friends what is happening because the more I talk about it, the worse it feels. The other reason I thought I’d write this post is because it reflects what is probably a ‘normal’ side of how human nature deals with oppressive situations.  Abuse, fear, etc – they all trigger symptoms like depression, isolation, etc.  So, if you wind up feeling like this sometimes… you’re not alone.

What I will do to get to feeling better is to do my faithful gratitude list, and prayer.  Lots of prayer and lots of faith.  To remember that God will lead us out of this situation, and that I need to carefully be aware of what my thoughts and actions should be to help that happen.  Today, I am focusing on being grateful that others are flowing into our lives and listening to what my children have to say.

6 Responses to “When the Going Gets Tough”

  1. Vanessa says:

    Thank you not only for this post, but thank you for all of them. I’ve been following along for a few months and your posts have made such a difference in my life. I am no longer so afraid of my exN, I understand his behavior better and feel I know how to respond (or not) to him. I admire your strength and faith. I pray for your continued strength for you and your children.

  2. Julia says:

    Oh boy do I understand this post. You could say I’ve been “quiet”, withdrawn, isolated, etc. for two years now. I’m aware of it but have been in too much emotional pain and/or deporession to pull myself out of it. Now that I’m finally trying to pull myself out I’m dealing with feelings of guilt for having not turned to God during that time. I knew I should have but chose total isolation instead. Thank you for your post. It served its purpose beautifully. You made me realize that I am NOT alone, once again. Thank you for your strength. You have been and continue to be a blessing in my life. I am praying for you and your children.

    • Here’s my take… that God forgives. Imagine taking that feeling of guilt and handing it to God. Poof.. it’s dissolved. This reminds me of that poem of footprints in the sand, where God carries us through those times that are tough, even if we don’t realize he’s there.

  3. JMCB says:

    Thank you for this post today…

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