How far we’ve come… a moment of gratitude

Sometimes I feel like my life is stuck…. stuck in narcissistic purgatory. 

However, there have been some really awesome things that have happened, and I think it’s good to take stock in them.  One of the themes in our lives is that those who have been difficult to our situation has faded away.  In the self-healing that I have been focused on, there are many who repeatedly point to the fact that we have the power to create our own life, and that when we focus on ourself and heal ourself – that the difficult people in our lives will fade away.  Given the trend that I’ve seen, I am becoming even more of a believer.

Great forward steps include:

1- When my daughter’s original therapist resigned.  She was brought on by my ex’s first attorney (who is now a judge!).  She believed that sex abuse isn’t sex abuse if the child is enjoying it – and according to my attorney, she testified to this affect in another case.

2- Our original parent coordinator stepped off our case.  This guy was a flip-flopper.  He supported me until the going was tough, then he supported dear  old dad to be involved in his kids lives no matter what.  It was impossible to tell where he would land, and he had no particular plan on how to get my ex and I working better together.  It was a lot of money down the drain.  Another positive… my ex and I had less interaction, which I believe helped a lot.

3- We’ve won the past several times my ex has had us into court.  After the first time where he won even when he admitted hitting me, he felt even more empowered.  It’s been so wonderful to have the court support me and my children and to see better outcomes.

4- Our original judge retired…. the judge that gave the original outcome noted in #3… we were basically stuck going back to him each time (although he did rule in my favor once! 🙂  He resigned this January… and I wish him the best in his new endeavors!

5- We’ve gotten more people noticing and supporting us – in school, at the doctor’s office, at CPS and my daughter’s therapist has been stronger in her support.  Maybe it’s not perfect, but it’s certainly a wonderful start.  I expect only good to come 🙂

6- The evaluation for my son is pending.  My daughter’s therapist says the testing will pick up on the impact of trauma and stress and it should be very interesting.  Yay!  I am envisioning that we are able to find out specifically how he’s been impacted and make some changes that will help him.

7- My previously to scared to speak daughter has been really able to stand up and hold her own.  She’s amazing and an inspiration to me, and I’m so proud of her to stand up for herself, even when she is scared of the reaction that she might get.

8-  Last but not least… this blog has been a wonderful experience and all of you who are here with me are awesome support – who understand what the challenges are and the plight to live a great life despite those challenges.

Life is Good 🙂


7 Responses to “How far we’ve come… a moment of gratitude”

  1. Mama goose says:

    I would love to get more info from you! Going thru similar stuff!!

  2. Kelmag says:

    Hi Natalia,

    I have been reading you blog for about six months and I just wanted to comment on your positive post. Our stories are very similar, Its been a year of a very ugly court battle with my N. He gets away with so much and I feel hope draining everyday.

    I want to believe it can get better and things could still turn around. I will focus on the small victories and keep going forward.

    Thanks for being brave enough to put your story out there to remind the rest of us we are not alone.

    • Thank you for your note! I will stay hopeful for you as well as me 🙂 It is horribly difficult at times to keep perservering…I know that. I find a lot of hope in my faith, and find energy in focusing on things I can control and things that make me and my kids happy even though it’s not always easy to do that. I also find that the more I believe that miracles will come into our lives, the more they do – and even the small miracles count.

      I’m cheering you on!! 🙂

  3. JenelleMarie says:

    Sorry referring to the pic on this post, “Count your blessings name them one by one. . .” 🙂

  4. JenelleMarie says:

    I love that song and every time we sing it in church I get teary eyed. Such wonderful blessings and great progress. It’s sad that it takes so long, but instead of focusing on that part you are focusing on where you are and how you’ve been blessed. Love that about you and your blog! I think it’s yet another ‘affirmation’ of how the truth shall set you free, even if it’s not on our timeline.

    And I know I am one who is thankful for your blog. You don’t just understand the BPD aspect, you also help strengthen my faith which I am forever grateful for! Giant hugs and continued prayers for this year to be full of many, many more blessings.

    • I didn’t even know there was a song! I’m assuming you mean “How far we’ve come?” There’s a number of them by that name. (lol!)

      It’s a mutual thankfulness! I’m very glad to be connected with you as well!! I have on my shower wall an affirmation about how great 2013 will be for us 🙂

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