Letting Go Meditation

Last week, my daughter was really focused on wanting to speak with her father and tell him how she felt about things.  She wanted to tell him (again) how she wants to only see him on for dinner one night a week and be able to sleep at her mom’s home on the weekends (all weekends).  She said she is willing to see him on the weekends, if she and her brother can return home for bed.

That said, I have this feeling that my ex has been in my life because he has been energetically connected in some way to me.  This is a part of the healing work I have focused on – the belief that there is some reason he has been in my life, and when I’ve learned that lesson and healed – he would let go and move on.

So, knowing that my daughter wanted to speak with him – I made it a point to spend 30 minutes in meditation that evening when she was going to speak with him (during a weekday dinner).  I looked for a meditation about letting go or releasing someone or something from your life.  I found one on a site that’s a little unlike me (it has the words “pagan” and “witchcraft”… which is a bit scary to me!).  Nonetheless, the concept of the meditation was the same as I had seen in other places, and so I set forth to do something generally like it.

The meditation consisted of focusing deep within (the bible says that God lives within us) and finding that place where God exists.  I then imagined my ex standing in front of me. The meditation I found said that I should ask him permission to join me in the space where I was, so I did that as I mentally felt connected with him.  I then “spoke” with him – explained how I felt about the things that have happened between us over the years – taking care not to place blame on either of us for it.  I explained how I felt about it and connected to those emotions strongly.   I told him I forgive him for all that has happened, and that I forgive him for not being who I thought he would be when we met.  I then imagined that all that has happened between us was given over to him – to deal with if he should chose himself, but letting him know that I was done and moving forward.

At that point, I strongly “told” him that I was done, I forgive him and am letting him go – releasing him to God.  I asked God to release him and me of any obligations, duties or responsibilities we have to one another.  I then concluded our visit together and imagined him leaving – with both of us moving on to find a better life.

It sounds a little hokie – but it was so powerful.  I felt so many emotions surface in my body and felt as though they were lifted up and sent to God’s love.

That next day, when I went to drop my children off for the weekend with their father, my daughter again addressed the issue with her father and for the first time, she heard him say “I’m done with you.” and “you don’t have to go if you don’t want to”.

It seems strange… she was elated that he said that (oddly so… who gets excited about hearing “I’m done with you” angrily from their parent?  I guess one who has been abused by that same parent).   It was risky, but in the end I wound up leaving with the kids for the weekend. Things aren’t completely solved yet, but I feel that there was a big shift in the relationships and the way things are playing out – and I’m interested to see where they head.

 


2 Responses to “Letting Go Meditation”

  1. amy says:

    Please, please, please bring a voice recorder with you, if it’s legal in your state, to capture moments like that. You will need them someday in court. A lot of phones come with recorders now; turn it on before you get out of the car, and just let it run and capture the abuse.

  2. JenelleMarie says:

    Sounds like a wonderful step in the right direction. It’s kind of crazy because today as I was driving I realized my next step is forgiveness and moving on. I really didn’t think i’d be here, but with this pregnancy being almost 34 weeks I think that the next 6 weeks my mental and emotional work is to focus on this next step of the journey freeing up space for me to give birth freely and without harboring anything so this little girl can be with her parents and come through me without having to battle any of the emotional garbage that may be left in me.

    Love that you shared your meditation, I need to work on something for me so this helps me a lot to hear how others are able to ‘speak’ or say goodbye in a sense.


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