Links to other resources
There are many, MANY organizations addressing domestic violence (the more the better, the bigger the voice we will have). I cannot possibly list them all, but am noting some of them which have made the biggest difference for me personally in understanding what I was (am) dealing with myself.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE, TDD: 800-787-3224
Lundy Bancroft is an author, workshop leader, and consultant on domestic abuse and child maltreatment. His work focuses on three areas:
1) Training professionals on best practices for intervening with male perpetrators of violence against women, toward the goal of promoting accountability and requiring change,
2) Training professionals on the dynamics of emotional injury and recovery in children who are exposed to a man who abuses their mother, to prepare participants to offer the most effective and safe assistance possible to children and their mothers, and
3) Supporting healing and empowerment for abused women, with an emphasis on advocating for the human rights of mothers and their children.
Lundy is the author of several books in the field, including
*Personal note: I highly recommend Lundy’s books. They are amazingly helpful and affirmative. One of the most difficult challenges in being with a narcissist is the continual denial of your gut reactions. The narcissist tells you that you are crazy for thinking anything he does is wrong, that he didn’t do it, that he’s a “good catch”. One of the most important steps in healing is recognizing and reaffirming that you were correct in your assessment that normal people don’t act the way he does and that his behavior should not be tolerated!
End Violence Against Women International: To change our response to sexual violence, EVAW International focuses on connecting professionals and strengthening the community’s response system. We bring together the many diverse professionals who respond to victims of violence against women — to communicate, share, learn — and ultimately to strengthen the whole system by better understanding each component. All of this collaborative work is focused on creating a more compassionate response for the victim, a more aggressive prosecution of the perpetrator, and a more secure environment for communities everywhere.
EVAW International provides a wealth of expertise, resources and tools in this area. We also offer numerous opportunities for collaborative learning for professionals who work in — or interface with — the criminal justice response system.
The Mission of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) is to organize for collective power by advancing transformative work, thinking and leadership of communities and individuals working to end the violence in our lives.
NCADV.org state coalition list: http://www.ncadv.org/resources/StateCoalitionList.php
Stop Family Violence:
Stop Family Violence’s mission is to organize and amplify our nation’s collective voice against family violence. We are a catalyst for social change – empowering people to take action at the local, state and national level to ensure safety, justice, accountability and healing for people whose lives are affected by violent relationships.
AARDVARC: An Abuse, Rape & Domestic Violence Aid & Resource Collection
This site is for victims of violence, their families and friends, and the agencies and programs which serve them, both public and private. The goal of this website is to assist efforts to aid and support those trying to remove themselves from abusive situations and build healthier, stronger lives. For individuals, we hope to provide general educational and reference material as well as a comprehensive nationwide directory of services for “one stop shopping”.
NARCISSISM, NPD, PERSONALITY DISORDERS
Eleanor Payson: Eleanor’s commitment to treating issues relating to narcissistic wounding over the past twenty years led her to help people in codependent relationships with narcissistic individuals. Her book,The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family,provides new insight and help for the layperson who is struggling with the many confusing and painful challenges that occur when in relationship with someone who has strong narcissistic traits, or a narcissistic personality disorder. * Personal note – I found Eleanor’s book to be the most helpful on the topic. It was easy to understand and provided many “ah-ha” moments. As a result, I contacted her and scheduled a few phone sessions to apply the information further to my own situation. I also found this time to be amazingly helpful.
Sandra L. Brown, M.A., CEO of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education holds a Masters Degree in Counseling with a former specialization in personality disorders/pathology. She is a program development specialist, lecturer, community educator, and an award-winning author. Her books include the award winning Click here to view more details“>How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved, and FAMILY COURT / CHILD ABUSE
Bill Eddy is President of High Conflict Institute based in Scottsdale, Arizona. Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California with fifteen years’ experience representing clients in family court, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples, and families in psychiatric hospitals and out patient clinics. He is Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, California.
He provides seminars on mental health issues for judges, attorneys, and mediators, and seminars on law and ethics for mental health professionals. He has taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law. His articles have appeared in national law and counseling journals. He is the author of several books, including It’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Handling People Who Blame Others for Everything, High Conflict People in Legal Disputes and SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist.
High Conflict Institute (HCI) was co-founded in 2007 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., and Megan L. Hunter, MBA, to provide education and resources to professionals handling High Conflict disputes.
HCI believes that high conflict family law disputes are not driven by complex issues, but by High Conflict Personalities (HCPs). Based on Bill’s broad training in mental health, law and conflict resolution, he developed the High Conflict Personality Theory and has been teaching the necessary skills for handling HCPs to professionals in a wide variety of settings: legal, workplace, healthcare, education, government, business and others.
The Center for Judicial Excellence:
A community-based organization in Marin County established to improve the public accountability of the judiciary and strengthen and maintain the integrity of the courts.
Mothers of Lost Children:
The mission of Mothers of Lost Children is to support, nurture and pray for mothers who have been forcibly separated from their children by the family law and juvenile courts. Our primary goal is to bring to public awareness the fact that children who report abuse, particularly incest, are regularly given into the custody or unsupervised visitation of the identified perpetrators.
Battered Mothers Custody Conference:
This group seeks to raise public awareness by documenting civil, legal, due process, and human rights violations perpetrated on victims of domestic violence (women and children) by family courts, their professional appointees, Child Protective Services, other government systems, and all who have built an industry which profits from the suffering of mothers and children trying to escape domestic violence.
The Courageous Kids Network:
This organization, started by children survivors, is dedicated to stopping the continuing assault on children’s human right to live free from abuse
California Protective Parents Association:
The Mission of the California Protective Parents Association is to protect children from incest and family violence through research, education and advocacy.
Rights For Mothers:
This group is committed to get fairness, equality and justice within the gender biased family court and circuit court systems.
Custody Preparations for Moms:
This website is intended to help fit and loving mothers who wish to continue to be the primary caretakers of their children.
Mothers for Justice:
This group is the campaigning ‘voice’ for everyone who has suffered an injustice with the corrupt judiciary system. We endeavor, through our campaigns to bring out into the open the appalling number of injustices (particularly) those relating to child access issues.
Topics include staying safe, preparing for court, know the laws, learn about abuse, where to find help, legal statutes.
OTHER BLOGS/ARTICLES ABOUT THE SAME ISSUES
If you have a similar situation – please consider getting the word out however possible. Be it a blog, article or writing your story and circulating it in some way – it helps others realize the need to address how courts help families when parents suffer from personality disorders. There are functional ways in which PD parents can be and should be in the children’s lives, which still allow the child to grow up in a safe (physical and emotional) environment.
One Woman’s Battle - a blog about a mom in California representing herself pro se in the family court system with a narcissitic ex. This is inspirational – she has made it to having supervised visitation for her daughters!
Click here to watch Christie Brinkley on the Today Show (as provided on One Woman’s Battle blog)
Click here to watch Peter Cook on the Today Show (as provided on One Woman’s Battle blog)